Observing Children's Birthday Parties

In the course of one snowy afternoon I attended two very different birthday parties with very different types of activity attended by roughly the same age groups (3-6 years). Through observation I was able to see which activity was ultimately the most successful for the children, the most efficient for the parents, and most enjoyable overall.

Party #1 was held at a church playspace; a very large room with children's table and chairs at one end, a rug with a train table and loose toys in the middle, and a small stage with ride on toys, small indoor slide, and teeter totter at the far end. The activity was a girl teaching hula for the tropical theme and the small tables were set up to make and decorate shakers. Besides this it was basically comprised of free play on the hundreds of toys there. However, the space acts as a playspace for preschoolers, toddlers and infants during the week so %90 of the toys were not meant for six year olds. The girls all gravitated to the hula dancer when the music came on, waving their arms and pointing their toes in unison. They lined up in orderly fashion and really enjoyed the show aspect. A small group of children, mostly girls, also enjoyed creating their shakers, covering them with sparkles and feathers and filling them with coffee beans to create noise. This was a free activity with no guidance or assistance from adults unless a parent chose to help. This activity created a huge amount of mess for the relatively small amount of enjoyment the kids got out of it. The majority of the time was spent with children pretty much running willy-nilly throughout the space or crashing the ride on toys into each other. One of the problems, in my opinion, is when you only give children toys that are developmentally below their skill level they will create new (and dangerous) ways to play with them. For instance, a plastic toddler teeter totter had close to seven children sitting on it, crazily tipping this way and that, making each other fall off on purpose. Other children were driving the toddler cars while kids sat on top of the roof of the cars, precariously holding on with their legs like riding ponies!

Party #2 was at a children's gymnastic studio called The Little Gym. Little Gym is a huge airy space with glass windows looking in from a lobby area. The sparkling equipment and pads were evenly spaced with plenty of room in between each piece and a large gym floor mat to the right. The party began with free play on the gymnastic equipment. Even though the children were essentially the same ages as Party #1 the equipment was not changed to accommodate different ages, instead the party helpers spotted the littler children on the balance beam and uneven bars to ensure their safety. The younger children (2-3's) were ecstatic rolling down the slanted mats on their sides. The older children (4-5) were excitedly jumping from the parallel bars assisted by the helper. Even the younger children wanted to try the parallel bars after seeing how they could do the activity with assistance. Intermittently one of the helpers would bring the children back to the large mat for an activity, for example, running like animals. Even though much of the activity involved just running frenetically around in a giant circle on the mat the children were incredibly excited to be following each other and having a helper lead them. Then they would be allowed to go back and have free play again. For the finale, they inflated a huge 10"x 20" trampoline and let the kids run, jump, or tumble the length of it. The cautious children felt the excitement of joining their friends in this activity and the bolder ones relished the opportunity to bound up and down, throwing themselves down the length of it. To finish up the party the helpers allowed the children to jump on the trampoline as hard as they liked, helping to deflate it in the process. The kids loved the feeling of jumping and feeling the trampoline crush under their strength. Getting the children to follow them into the 'pizza/cake' room was as simple as having the helper walk around the room with a bubble machine while encouraging the children, Pied Piper style, to follow the bubbles to the party room. In a truly ingenious move the children naturally follow them straight into the room with no yelling or protests at leaving the gym area.

In conclusion Party #2 was ultimately much more successful for a number of different reasons. One of the key reasons was the organized format of the party, the children orderly went from one activity to the next as there was a logical pattern. This avoided the overheated, sweaty chaos of the first party. Children never knew where to go next as there was no apparent progression to the party, everything was just laid out for the entire time of the party. Party #2 had two helpers who helped the kids try everything they wanted to, instead of giving them age inappropriate activity with no guidance. The children really seemed to enjoy both parties but the second one seemed to have more of an arch allowing the kids to have an activity peak and a wind down with the food, letting the children get a full experience in a short span of time.

Reading Reflection on Finkelstein

I am fascinated by the ideas presented in Joanne Finkelstein's article Art of Self Invention: Image and Identity in Popular Culture, particularly the concepts that some behaviours, responses and emotional exchanges are based on the participant's social class. I was especially reminded by how the majority of people categorize the urban African- American culture.

While vacationing in Germany I was surprised to come upon a shop with a faux graffiti sign, playing loud rap music, and exclusively selling what we would refer to as hip hop or typical rapper style clothing, sneakers and hats. This was the popular world view of urban America. Those of us who live and work in an urban American city know this depiction is stereotypical of a type of person that does exist but is not wholly the representation of urban America. An accurate representation of urban African-Americans might include a rapper influenced African-American as well as immigrants from Africa, the Islands, middle class students, city workers, doctors, lawyers, and maybe even a governor!

Still it is discouraging that some behaviours are identified as being typical of lower class African-Americans, such as speech. How many times during the presidential campaign did you hear someone say how, 'well spoken' Obama was? Still the term 'Ebonics' typically refers to the speech patterns of lower class African-Americans. Even though many slang terms used in American culture originated in this same community. For example the word 'dog', was adopted as a term of acknowledging a friend and thus became 'dawg'. Even upper class white teens use this term now. Can it still be termed an Ebonic word if binary cultures adopt it? If it is no longer used in the social culture but still retains its original meaning? I feel that once society lets go the ideas that Freud expressed in her article we will be coming closer to a fully multi-cultural society.

Shadowed Dreamer *

The most amazing thing about the one-man show Shadowed Dreamer, is that the man on stage has lived through the whole thing in order to tell the tale. For someone who has been through an incredible amount of mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse Stephen Hart is a fairly upbeat guy. He doesn't seem depressed as his adoptive mom was, he didn't profess to abusing alcohol as his step-mother did, and he seems relatively healthy despite the fact the is living with HIV. It is a truly amazing story from start to finish. He is such an incredible person to have survived thus far in his life. But his story is really the exception, not the rule.

I was disappointed that he spoke very little about his experience of growing up gay and can only guess that other things were much more weighty in his life. I would have liked to hear about growing up gay, what that meant to him and how it feels to be living with HIV. Curiously we never really hear how he recovered from these life events. Did he attend therapy? For how long? Was he on anti-depressants? I suppose the show wasn't really about that-it was about survival and the tenacity of the human spirit. He really is the exceptional human being to live through all that he has and to continue to have such an open outlook on life and for that he should be applauded.

Ramp It Up *

Ramp it Up is a fascinating photography exihibit following the development of the skate board culture from the early Hawaiin natives to Native American teens who live on reservations.

A majority of Native Americans, particulary teens, are lively in a daily void of their Native culture with no knowledge of their ancestors, language or cultural traditions. Their lives are primarily ones of uneducated poverty with no foreseeable escape. It was especially fascinating to learn that one of the founders of a Native American skateboard company was a highly decorated master of Native North American tribal dancing. He had the foresight to recognize that powwows and other traditional Native social events were not bringing in younger Natives. In their world, these powwows and dances were part of the older and unknown tradition which held no attraction for them. He was able to not only begin designing skate decks and distributing them free of charge to young Natives but eventually combine the events of the powwow and skate competition in order to bring the two worlds together. He successfully brought elements of their culture into a format which held meaning to the teens.

The artwork which prevails on the decks of the skateboards these teens use are full of symbolism and meaning. One elder even distributed free sets of wheels in the color combination of the traditional Indian medicine wheel. The decks show everything from significant events in Native culture to figurative representations. Especially interesting is how they use symbolism in such a way that its significance is not readily apparent, they successfully blend typical popular graphics, like skulls, so that the viewer is not hit over the head with the meaning behind the designs.

What is particularly heartening is how many teens have found a way out of the restrictive poverty and dismal futures through skateboarding. They have created a modern culture that mimics the ideals of their traditional Native culture. Many of the same qualities are recognized in the skate culture, such as courage, skill and pride in their group. Hopefully this will, continue to affect the younger members of the tribes and educate them about the ways, and meanings of their ancestors.

The Myth of the Gifted Child

The Myth of the Gifted Child written by Jennifer Senior and in the Feb. 8 issue of New York magazine brings up so many concepts that seem already confirmed by years of studies in childhood development it makes it clear how ridiculous this frenzied race to have our children overachieve is. The tests that many parents push for their children to succeed in are largely unapplicable to a child’s future success. Unless…your idea of your child succeeding is attending a top tier private Manhattan school and going on to an Ivy league college of astronomical expense. It turns out that each of these exclusive private schools which place such importance on a child’s specialness require different tests for entrance. At the age of 4, they are placing a level of importance on a test which can’t really estimate much of the potential of a child as the development of a child’s mind is fluid at this age.

Is it the theory that if you pay for it, its better? If you have to be invited to join this renders your child, and thus you, a member of an exclusive group which somehow makes you more special and deserving of being included in this exclusive class. Since most of these tests must be given on a one on one basis by a trained individual and cost in the hundreds of dollars the barriers to exclusivity are already in place. Throughout the article there are references to class status and family income as tools for success. It seems as if in the NYC private school system your income is the strongest tool guaranteeing educational success. There is no room for the unrecognized student born of middle or lower class with an uninformed parent. The real irony is that in studies noted in the article, following a group of tested and gifted children, several of the rejected children went on to win Nobel Prizes, become accomplished musicians, and generally have lives of intellectual note. Not as much could be said of the studies’ subjects.

Why is that we feel we must- at the youngest of ages, be putting labels on the potential of our children? And why are the titles of ‘gifted’ or ‘special’ allowed for the few with the bank books to finance it? How sad it will be for future generations when the brilliant scientist who might save generations from cancer, the amazing musician who will write a song that will touch millions, or the incredible strategist who will negotiate a peace in the Middle East, is never found, never discovered just so some wealthy benefactor can say every generation in his family went to Dalton and then on to Harvard.

Observing at Kids-N-Action

While observing young children at Kids-N-Action its important to try not to let yourself be distracted by all the loud noises and visual stimulus. Kids-N-Action is a warehouse size playspace located in outer Brooklyn near the Ave. I subway stop. It has a extremely large climbing and tunnel structure located in the center of the space and is surrounded by various rides with ten rooms for birthday parties located around the perimeter and an infant area to one side.

One is first bombarded by the bright graphics on the walls, murals of comic characters and scenes of choo choo trains. Next there is a row of video/carnival games which continually beep and flash bright lights. The children are immediately drawn to the video/carnival games. Parents tend to think its because these actually cost extra and are not included in the price of admission and are momentary distractions. The youngest children don’t even require the coins needed to operate the games and are content to merely sit in the bright red race car and forcefully turn the steering wheel to the left and right. They get so much enjoyment out of banging the mallet on the buzzer, even without the payment, its easy to see how the flashing lights attract them. Once you actually do put a token in the machine it spits out a random amount of reward tickets no matter the effort put forth. The amount of excitement generated by these little cardboard tickets is akin to winning the lotto. Even when the child realized there is only a tiny eraser shaped like a basketball to be gained from the awarding of their many tickets there doesn’t seem to be much disappointment. The winning of anything, even a prize which can only be valued in pennies, elicts an abundance of joy in the children. Apparently the idea of winning, to even young children, is more exciting than the task required to gain it.

When they are exhausted from the games they eventually move to the climbing apparatus and spend their time creating games of climbing, searching, sliding down the tunnels, and hiding. The apparatus itself gives the children an environment for them to explore without fear of actually getting lost or being too far from a parent. They seem to move between the climbing apparatus and the rides with a frenzy. The train is the most mild, being suitable even for infants and parents. The circle shaped roller coaster the most frightening, moving with a mechanical lurching forward on its track till the operator flips the switch that causes it to reverse. The children seems to enjoy its loud, bumpy ride and laugh and exclaim as they whiz around the circle. When it reverses several of the children’s smiles turn to cries of fear as their shock and surprise at being mislead is realized.

What’s amazing about environments manufactured for children like this is how they manage to give children both what they desire most and give them what we, as adults, think they should want. Do they care that each birthday party room has a different character painted on a massive scale on the wall? In fact, I don’t think they even notice. The stimulus of being in the actual space mentally exhausts them as much as partaking in the activities there. At the end of the day, the lights, noise, brightly colored murals have done the job better than the rides.

Figure Skating Costumes

During the Olympics, its easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of the games; the speed, the danger, the sequins!?! Yes, as anyone who has watched figure skating can attest, there are lots of sequins. But it all leaves one wondering why do figure skaters, who have traditionally fought to be portrayed as real athletes, wear individually designed costumes?

Uniforms play such an important part of the Olympics games; they unify the teams visually, create team spirit, and show country affiliation. Many well known fashion designers have created the opening ceremony outfits. This has allowed the designers to show the particular style, taste, and popular colors of their home nations as well.

By not wearing a team uniform figure skaters not only emphasize the performance aspect of their sport over the athleticism but appear to be individuals in competition not part of a group from a home nation. Even their summer equivalent, gymnastics, wear identical (if sparkly) leotards. Granted, these are some of the shiniest, sparkliest leotards ever seen, but they are a uniform. Figure skaters have been depicted as effeminate and stereotyped as homosexual so being the only athletes in skirts doesn't help their image. Without the super sexy skirts, leather look pirate shirts, and frilly backless dresses perhaps viewers might be forced to appreciate the majesty of their strength, stamina, and agility. Being a beautiful performer is important too, but I think this should be reserved for professional competition and not the Olympic games.

Olympics Opening Ceremony or Packaging a Culture?

The opening ceremony for the twenty-first winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada was a glittery, awe-inspiring, magical display of dance, acrobatics, music, lights, pyrotechnics and lighting, but was it really an accurate depiction of the culture of southwest Canada? The parade of Indian tribes native to Canada in their traditional garb was a beautiful introduction to the many native peoples but it left me wondering was a glamourous representation better than none? Would the average Olympic viewer stop watching if there weren't flashy lights projecting Native Canadian abstract glyphs? The ideals of the Olympics are to focus on the internationality of good sportsmanship, not the skaters sexy costumes.

Ninety percent of all Canadians live within a hundred miles of the U.S. border. So it would be a fair assumption to say the most Canadians probably have fairly accurate view of American culture. We like it glamourous down here in the U.S., its fair to say, we like our athletes in sparkly unitards, our opening ceremony uniforms designed by fashions elite, and flashy attention getting graphics on our downhill equipment. Is there anything wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that but where is line drawn between packaging a culture, a people, a nation to make it look its best?

When the Chinese hosted the summer Olympics there was an incredible amount of bad press surrounding human rights violations occurring there. The press struggled to portray athletes in a positive light while avoiding the bitter side of training in a communist nation. But, darn it all, if that opening ceremony didn't rock! The thousands of dancers moved in perfect unison, there were no safety infractions, the athletes appeared happy and healthy, to the world everything appeared fine in Beijing. What the viewers didn't see is what I wonder.

One can only assume that exposing the world to the highlights of your nation, showing them what you'd like to portray is better, in some cases, than showing them nothing. Viewers love inspiring stories, beautiful vistas, charming native tunes, and indigenous exotic cultures, and there is nothing wrong with that. Before these games some viewers probably never knew what snowboard cross was, much less that there were Native Indian tribes in Canada. Maybe the Olympics are the time and place to put all things political aside and just enjoy the beauty and athleticism of people from all over the world.

Martin Luther King and me....

The comment was made in a kindergarten classroom. It was a moderately diverse NYC public school in a middle-upper class neighborhood. The teacher was talking about Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement. She had just finished talking about segregation when a young boy piped up, "Boy, I'm glad I'm white!"

Children at this young age tend to have no filter. It was obvious the child meant nothing harmful or hurtful. He had not been raised in a racist household, nor taught there was any difference between him and children of other colors or cultures. What was plain to see was his empathy for the difficult times African-Americans had and his realization that he was not, in fact, black. The teacher understood this and appreciated the charm in his statement.

African-American had a an incredibly difficult time, socially, culturally, professionally, and personally in the 20th century. Here, in one sentence, was a child saying, 'What an awful thing to endure, I'm glad I don't have to deal with that.' Nothing hurtful or harmful intended by his statement, just a child's empathy.

Observing teens playing in the snow

It is rare the snowy day that finds adults and children happy to be free of the constraints of everyday chores and responsibilities. Why is it, as adults, that we cannot find the simple joy in playing in the cold, blustery snow? I think we maybe know too well that this is just a temporary reprieve from our daily life and have a difficult time letting go of responsibilities.

Five teen age boys were enjoying a snowball fight while nearby a cluster of younger girls built a fort using plastic forms to create bricks. One teenage girl was alternately participating in the snow ball fight and helping the younger children with the fort. The girls seemed to gravitate towards a task utilizing the snow, the creation of a place. While the boys, standing in a semi-circle, purposefully struck each other with snowballs at close range. Even though they were laughing and were clearly all friends, none of them held back when throwing the balls at each other with force. Snow wounds hung off their clothes where they had been hit and the snow clung to their hats, coats, and arms. The teenage girl seemed to be torn between the two separate groups; should she 'play house' with the other, younger girls, or take the risk of being with boys her own age who were 'fighting' with the snowballs, where she was certain to get struck by some. She chose to stay safely in the middle, making a pile of snow bricks on the ground and half-heartedly throwing some snow balls at the boys. It seems as if she throws them just hard enough to signify the desire to be included, but not so hard that they throw them at her with any force. She just calls back and forth to them.

Eventually it becomes prematurely dark outside and although the snow is still coming down they retreat to the house. Outside the girl's dad is shoveling the sidewalk dutifully and they teens all parade past him on the way into the house to warm up.

Closing City funded Daycares

The NYC Administration of Children's Services (ACS) funds many things that primarily benefit low income, minority, or children in the foster care system so it seems criminal that these very children in need are the ones who are losing daycare services. The Mayor's recent budget would cut funding for 16 city subsidised daycares. These daycares are often located near city housing projects and have a rigorous set of income standards that must be met in order to attend them. These are children that, in some cases, have no where else to go during the day. Many of them come from single, working parent households. And since these daycares start at age 2, there is potentially an entire generation of youngsters who will have no chance to start out on the right educational path.

According to city guidelines, if you make more than the low income standards you can apply to be a 'private pay' client. It is through this program that my child has attended these daycares for the past two years. At his first school, my son was the only white child in a school of almost entirely African-American children. His teacher told me that my child, 'doesn't see color'. It was this praise I was most proud of, of all his accomplishments from the potty to numbers. What a shame that these children, and the relationships they learn at places like this, will no longer be accessible.

Please call 311 and tell the Mayor to continue funding Brooklyn daycares.